Filled Emptiness
by DiaryofaMadTheaterMajor
Summary: Grantaire has a confession to make to Enjolras


Enjorlas grabbed the key from his pocket, and unlocked the door to his and Grantaire's apartment. He closed his eyes in expectation of Grantaire's drunken greeting but instead was greeted with, "You're home early."

Enjorlas shut the door and was silent for a second, Grantaire emerged from the kitchen with a glass of cranberry juice. Enjorlas eyed him as Grantaire made his way to the living room, an amused smirk on his face, "And what is confusing my dear Apollo?" Grantaire asked setting the glass down and walking to Enjorlas.

"You're sober."

Grantaire chuckled, "Yeah. Why're you surprised?" He asked.

"You're always drunk or in the process of." Enjorlas said.

Grantaire's face grew serious, "I know. But I've tried changing that because—well, because," Grantaire turned away from Enjorlas and then turned back, "I knew how much you hated it." He fidgeted with the sleeve of his sweater, a tell tale sign that he was lying. Enjorlas had learned to pick up on it early on in their relationship.

"You knew I hated it and yet you still did it, so why now?" He asked walking towards Grantaire.

He bit his lip and picked up the glass of juice and took a sip. When it came to explaining complex emotions to someone like Enjorlas, Grantaire had to be careful because a lot of the time, Enjorlas could be cold and say something that didn't mean to be hurtful but ended up being so.

"R-" Enjorlas began, Grantaire looked at him, he never called Grantaire that, but when he did he knew something deep was coming from Enjorlas. When they had sex for the first time, Enjorlas called Grantaire 'R', God knows why but he did. That became a pet name for him just like 'Apollo' had for Enjorlas. He swallowed and continued, "You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

Grantaire nodded, "I do, it's just—" He bit his lip again, "I—don't want to say the wrong thing at the wrong time and fuck things up."

"Tell me." It didn't feel right that Enjorlas was _this_ understanding, _this_ caring.

"My parents got divorced when I was seven, and my father was an abusive asshole who hurt me and when I was old enough I drank. I drank to try to fill this emptiness that my father had opened inside of me. It was this dark, horrible void that now matter how many days in a row I got wasted, I woke feeling so empty. That all changed though, when I was in a political science class and a blonde haired boy and I debated about the economy."

Enjorlas opened his mouth to say something but Grantaire silenced him, "That boy, was cold but brilliant. When I tried opening up to him about my feelings he blew it off as 'little' and 'unnecessary', so I continued drinking. I tried to get him out of my mind, but every morning I woke up with the thought of that blonde boy. Now, I want to tell him why I stopped trying so hard to fill that emptiness but I'm so afraid that he doesn't feel the same way. Enjorlas, I'm in love with you, deeper than I could possibly imagine or hope. You have done for me in the past six months what alcohol could never do. You have made me feel so complete, and I love you so much for that."

There was silence in the apartment, the two boys looked at each other. Grantaire looked at Enjorlas who was running what he had just said in his mind. He looked confused; Grantaire didn't say anything but grabbed the glass of juice and took another sip. "I love you too." Enjorlas said. Grantaire chocked on the juice, and looked at Enjorlas with wide eyes.

"What did you say?"

Enjorlas smiled, "Has the wine finally gotten to your brain? I love you too." He pressed a kiss to Grantaire's lips.

"You mean that?"

"Yes."

Grantaire wrapped his arms around the blonde and buried his face in his chest. "Thank God." He said with a laugh of relief.

The blonde took Grantaire's hands into his and kissed both of them before pressing another kiss to Grantaire's lips. His tongue slid into Grantaire's mouth, and moans escaped their lips as they made their way into the bedroom. Enjorlas pushed Grantaire onto the bed and pulled the T-shirt over his head, "My Apollo." Grantaire said gazing at Enjorlas' sculpted chest.

Their clothes ended up being thrown around the room as they fucked into the early hours of the morning. Spent, Grantaire pressed himself against Enjorlas whose arms wrapped around him. "I love you, Enjorlas."

"I love you too." Enjorlas replied pressing a kiss to Grantaire's sweaty forehead. Grantaire cuddled closer to him and was asleep in seconds.


End file.
